Yami's Secret Sequal to Bakura's Secret
by Shizuka4
Summary: Rated for strong language, blood and gore. Now Bakura's secret is out, he's burning with curiosity as to what's in a mysterious safe that belongs to Yami...
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Well, let's think about this. If I really owned YGO, I wouldn't be spending my time writing funny stories about the characters I owned.  
  
Well, say hello to Yami's Secret. Well, hope you like it! *NOTICE* You might want to read Bakura's Secret, because I'm going to say stuff that would spoil it, and you are not going to understand some things. It won't affect the outcome of the story, though. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
Bakura was determined to find out what was in that safe. He had discovered a safe under a table, with three locks on it that belonged to Yami, in Jou's house. There was also a very threatening letter on it, damning anyone who dared to go within a few feet of it. He was burning with curiosity over it, and he didn't feel that good, having drank about half Yugi's body weight in hard liquor in a drinking contest. The hangover, he was used to. He would go out every Friday night to a bar, get incredibly drunk, and seriously think about doing guys who had mistaked him for a girl. He usually just dislocated their arm, and made sure they knew he was not a girl. He just needed to wait for the pounding and dizziness to stop, and he would think of a plan. After arriving back at his own house with Ryou, he went to crash. He dragged his weight up the stairs, and entered his room, which still faintly smelled of carrots. {1}He fell on the bed, and planted his face in the pillow to stifle the wrenching in his stomach, which was trying to expel the evil liquid he downed earlier. Then he decided to go get a waste paper basket for next to his bed, and check up on Ryou. He glanced at the clock, and saw it was 9:30 in the morning. Damn. He had missed Barney. He left the room, and went quietly into Ryou's room. He was sleeping soundly, but jerked, as he sometimes did when his dreams involved either blood and gore, or cheese puffs. Bakura chuckled to himself, as he left to go to the bathroom. In the bathroom, he went, then grabbed the bin in there, and went back into his room. It was three in the afternoon, when he woke up, and when he did, he was suddenly so pissed, he hurled chunks into the bin next to his bed. He was dreaming. Dreaming about leather. Something suddenly possessed him to go out and buy the leather outfit he had been wearing in the dream, as he looked badass sexy in it. He went to see if Ryou had woken up. He had, and was currently taking a shower. Bakura just went into the bathroom to get his brush. Ryou didn't notice. Bakura combed through his hair, and when he was done, the brush was filled with white hair. He shrugged, and left the comb where he found it. He needed to change, there was dried ketchup, and dried chunks all over his shirt, and some blood. He didn't know where it was from, but he didn't care. He put on a leather jacket, the one he had stolen from Ryou earlier, and left the house. This time, though, he would travel on foot. He wanted to talk with the Mouse {2} before going to his favorite leather shop. After speaking to him, (Bakura told me to make the conversation private) he left for the leather place. Once there, he asked for a leather outfit that matched the description in his dream. The man said that he didn't have one, but the leather store at the mall did. Because of the mental state Bakura was in, the storekeeper had a bloody nose, and a dislocated shoulder. "Damn, these stupid people, thinking they could just order me around to different places like that." Bakura was thinking to himself again, as he had no one else to talk to him but Ryou. He went, though, to the leather shop, and purchased the suit. He beat up the guy trying to help him with it, after seeing the price tag. $1500 dollars. Big money. Of course, the unconscious guy's wallet helped him substantially. The leather suit was all black, and a two-piece. On the top was a regular shirt, that was complimented with a sleeveless vest, and bracelets about six inches long, extending halfway up his forearms, with silver buttons around the part closest to the wrist, pants that were loose at the bottom, but stuck to his skin before the knee. To top it off, there were a pair of boots he bought with it, that were slightly high heeled, but looked a little too muck like Yami's for his tastes. Now, he knew, they wouldn't think he was a girl at the bar, but a sexy girl. He dressed in it, and put his other clothes in the bag, and started to leave. He thought he saw Yami in another store, and he was going to show off the new outfit, before some punk ran into him. Bad decision. He picked up the guy, who looked about 20, by his shirt, and looked into his eyes, glaring at him like he had done so many times to Ryou. He thought Ryou was the only one immune to it's piercing stare. He saw straight through the guy. That dude was terrified, and crumbled under the weight of Bakura's "evil eye" "I sincerely hope you ran into me for a reason. If you were just being plain stupid, I'm afraid I'm going to have to teach you a lesson." Bakura raised the fist that wasn't holding the guy up, but it was caught from behind. He spun around, letting go of the dude, who seized his opportunity to run away as fast as he could, leaving his bags at Bakura's feet. He saw Yami, standing there, holding onto his wrist. Yami was also staring daggers at Bakura, but he was nothing compared to him. Bakura shook out of his grip when he noticed Yami was holding onto the band around his wrist. Bakura posed. "What'd you think? Who's the king of leather now, Mr. Badass leather freak?" Yami looked at the outfit, seeing surprisingly, it looked good on him. A little too good. Yami didn't want to hang around; he had important things to do. He nodded curtly, and walked off the other direction. Bakura was about to head the way he was going all along, when he saw the name on the bags Yami was carrying. "Victoria's Secret" was inscribed on them, in golden letters.  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* {1}Recently, there were creamed carrots all over his white carpet. Read Bakura's Secret. {2}Malik wants to be called Mouse. I don't even know why. I know this chapter was long and tedious, and not really funny, but we'll get to that. I promise. What's up with Bakura's bad streak? Why is Yami carrying lingerie? All will be answered soon. PLX R&R and tell me how I'm doing! 


	2. LEATHER!

Disclaimer: Duh. Well, chapter one was boring beyond belief, and had only a semi-interesting cliff, so I think I'll change that. And put paragraphs in. Well, here goes! *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
At home, Bakura started making a plan. Of course, being a tomb robber at one point as a career would be of great help. He could break into people's lockers at Ryou's school, and take whatever he wanted, and had never been caught. He got vodka out of the locker next to Ryou's, once. Now, all he needed was to get back into Jou's house and shimmy his way into that safe. He had a plan, and he was writing it down.  
"All I need to do, is go around the back of Jou's house, and, using an ice cream scoop, dig a tunnel into his basement, where I'll camp out until the house is empty, or I get bored and decide to kill someone." He knew, he was losing his touch. I mean, come on. Ice cream scoop? He crumpled up the paper, and tossed it in the waste paper bin next to him. (A/N, They're all over the place, ne?) Two hours later, Ryou came down the stairs, and read what Bakura had written on a piece of paper, and noticing that there were numerous crumpled up paper piled up next to the table. Bakura was so absorbed in what he was doing, he didn't even notice Ryou behind him, reading over his shoulder.  
"Fly over the house in a Boeing 747, parachuting out of it onto his roof, and going down the chimney dressed in a Chewbacca suit to scare all occupants out of the house, then break into the safe." Ryou read.  
"I guess you're still trying to see what's in Yami's safe, huh." Bakura jumped at Ryou's voice, but turned a little red when he realized he knew what he was up to. Ryou had a smirk on his face, adding to the discomfort Bakura was feeling. He tried really hard to suppress the urge to beat Ryou to a pulp, and eventually, his sane side won.  
"I would go away if I were you. You never know what I'm capable of. I don't even know that." Bakura was now smiling, trying in vain to cover his paper. Ryou shrugged his shoulders, and went to go get something to eat. Bakura was sill wearing his leather suit, as being in it made him feel confidant. But confidence only lasts for so long, and superficial help is only temporary, so Bakura's was beginning to run dry. He was beginning to get to the point where he kept writing on the papers, "Kill everyone, and conquer the world." He was getting a headache, so he either needed aspirin, or he needed alcohol. Those were two of his three "blissful A's" Aspirin, alcohol, and amphetamines. He used the first two more than the third, saving it for his really BIG headaches. He was also getting hot in his suit, so he went to change. While he was upstairs, he decided to go see Mouse again, but he wanted to take a shower first. He still smelled like ketchup, booze, and barf.  
"Hey! You want a turnip? I'm pickling them!" Yelled Ryou from the kitchen. Bakura thought for a moment, and yelled back,  
"I'm more of an eggplant person." He had never eaten an eggplant, but he had held one, smashing it over a man's head in the grocery store after he took the last bottle of "Ancient Egyptian Artifact Polish." Off the shelf, getting ready to buy it. That's how he met Mouse. Mouse, on the other hand, loved them.  
In the shower, he was thinking. That night was Friday, and he would be going to his usual bar in the leather. Maybe the atmosphere would help him think of something. But then again, he was sure he would think the Chewbacca idea was brilliant after he had a few drinks. He was of course, older than 21, but he looked like Ryou, who was still only 16. He always forgot his ID, so he could threaten the bartender's sanity for his drinks. He liked doing that, threatening someone to get what he wanted. Of course, there was the one person, who would be a baka and say something foolish, like "I think you're a perv." Bakura made sure that man didn't walk on his own for awhile. He wanted to beat up someone now, after letting Ryou off without a scratch. Something clicked in his head. "Maybe that's why I'm so irritable now, because I can no longer vent my anger on Ryou, I need to do it on something, or someone else. I get it now." He thought, realizing just then he wasted all the hot water, and he was getting rained on with ice cold pellets of, well, water. He didn't care, though. He would have a lot of fun that night. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* So? Plx R&R and tell me how I'm doing. Watch out for the next chapter, which I promise, will be up by the end of tomorrow. 


	3. Pineapple

Disclaimer: Be smart, peoples! *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
Bakura was dressed, and perked up, even. He was wearing the whole shebang, down to the leather boots he really didn't want to wear. The color of his hair and face stood out like the sun at midnight against his black outfit. He left the house on foot, seeing as Ryou's dad had the car at the moment. He had shouted to Ryou, saying he was going out, avoiding the kitchen's stench of pickling chemicals. He walked the short ½ mile to the bar, and walked inside.  
"New bartender. Interesting.." He thought to himself. The bar was full of smoke, either from cigars, cigarettes, or joints. Probably joints. There were people everywhere, most knowing Bakura too well to dare to risk a salutation. His boots made a sharp, yet dull thump on the wooden floor, making him look even more menacing, to those who knew him. He walked up to the bar, and asked for a beer. Start the night off light, he thought. The bartender looked at him suspiciously.  
"I need an ID, ma'am." Said the bartender in a stern voice. Big mistake. Ryou stood up, and grabbed the bartender's collar. Because of him, the place needed to keep getting new bartenders, but the owners didn't care. Bakura's displays brought people, and people meant money, so they let him do what he did best. The whole bar was suddenly around them, save a group of men who had entered the men's restrooms.  
"For one, I am well past 21. And two, I'm not a girl. Do I have boobs?" Bakura was whispering in the guys face, their noses almost touching because of Bakura's grip on the shirt. The question though, was out loud, so the whole bar could hear him. He leaned back in the man's face.  
"Now say it. I'm not a woman because I don't have boobs, and you'll get me a beer." That usually did it, but this one was stubborn.  
"You sure look like a woman, and I need an ID, for the last time SIR." He put the emphasis on "sir", making it sound sarcastic. Bakura now pulled the man over the bar, and shoved him into a wall. Holding him with two hands, now, the crowd was watching intently. Bakura stared daggers in the man's eyes, a clear intention of pain displayed in them. He leaned into the now trembling man's ear, and said,  
"Boo" The man jumped out of his skin, and tried to escape.  
"Now you realize I can hurt you! Well, all the other bartenders I've beaten up usually figured that out long before I had to pull them over the bar. But no, you're really dense. Now, maybe I'll leave you alone if you GET ME A GODDAMN BEER!!" He said all this, mocking the man, and letting everyone hear his humiliating comments. He let go of the bartender, who ran back into the bar, popping a beer can open, and placing it near Bakura's usual seat. That made Bakura a little suspicious. How did a newbie bartender know where Bakura actually sat most of the time? He went up to the bartender and asked him a question.  
"What's your favorite food?"  
"Pizza!" The man chimed, then covered his mouth, like he had said something wrong, which indeed he did. Bakura grabbed a fistful of his hair, and pulled. The wig, and the face came off on one piece. There, before him, was someone he had known for years. Jounouchi. He just stood there, looking really sheepish.  
"Hey, Bakura! I can explain. See there's this thing, Shizuka's been kinda helping Yami, and he wanted to make sure no one found out, so he sent me to make sure you didn't know anything." Bakura stood there, stunned. He was putting all the pieces together, and when he got everything straight, he laughed. Laughed like a maniac, and went to leave the bar. For the first time in his life, he was not drink after leaving a bar. He decided to take the long way home, through the back alleys, to think about everything. He had just turned into the alley behind the bar, when someone grabbed him from behind. He tried looking at who had grabbed him, but he couldn't turn around. Now being a tomb robber came in very handy, having to know how to get out of tight situations. He grabbed the man's hair with his free hand, and the man loosened his grip, trying to get Bakura off his hair. Bakura wiggled free, and kicked the man in the balls. He fell down, whimpering the whole time. Soon, there were thugs all over the place, circling the man who was now on the ground. All of a sudden, there was a blinding light, and a new person was in that alley. It was Squidward, from Sponge Bob Square Pants standing there, looking at the scene.  
"I was sent here by Sponge Bob, using a teleport ray. I have no respect for pinto beans." He said, reading off a little slip of paper. He looked at Bakura, and his eyes got really big.  
"Gee, ma'am, you look bad-ass sexy in that leather. I'm single." Squidward was now red. So was Bakura, enraged at this man who hated, who hated, pinto beans! He went up to the sea creature, and said,  
"Do I have any boobs, you moron? I'm a guy! You can't see worth shit, can you?"  
"Gawd, you could have fooled me. You're a good transvestite." Now Bakura was pissed.  
"IM NOT IN DRAG!!" Bakura and the said squid got in a huge dust cloud fight.  
"Ten minutes later." said the man with the French accent on SBSP. Squidward was unconscious, and Bakura was standing there, a look of complete glee on his face. There was another white flash, as Sponge Bob himself appeared.  
"Please excuse my friend, ma'am. I sent him here to tell you he didn't like pinto beans. We should be going now." Before Bakura had gotten a chance to whale on the yellow thing, they were both gone in yet another flash of white. He saw the thugs were gone, and began walking home again, thoroughly pissed, yet again. The events of the night had almost made him forget about Shizuka dating Yami. Almost. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* Bakura thinks Shizuka's dating Yami! Well, that explains the Victoria's Secret bag. PLEASE R&R!! Tankies to those who have already. 


	4. Destroy the Slurpies!

Disclaimer: Well, I don't have an X-box, I don't have a limo, and I certainly don't have an anime show.  
So, Yami's dating Shizuka? Yes? No? Find out soon! *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* When Bakura arrived at home, it was nearly ten, and he still wanted to get drunk. But he also wanted to think, now more than ever, about how to get in that safe. He kept getting really sick pictures in his head of what could be in there. "Sex toys, Shizuka's clothes," Bakura thought on the way home. He sat down at the table yet again, and started to write up a real plan, or so he thought. "Kidnap Shizuka, and use her as a hostage, releasing her only after Yami told him what was in the safe." He really didn't want to do that, seeing as how he had had an eye on her forever.. He crumpled up the piece of paper, and tossed it onto the growing pile of natural waste. He needed a plan. A real plan. That's when he got an idea. "Ryou, get in here!" He shouted to Ryou, who was still pickling things in the kitchen. He came out, holding a jar with green liquid in it that held something that greatly resembled a horseshoe. He was wearing his "Kiss the Cook" apron. {1} "What'd you need, Bakura. I'm busy at the moment." Ryou sounded agitated, like he got high off the fumes in the kitchen. Bakura wouldn't be surprised if he had. "I need you to think up this plan, thingy. I'm no good at it. Kinda makes me wonder how the hell I managed to be a tomb robber. You make the plan, and I'll make the pickles." Ryou agreed, and gave the apron and the Mason jar, to Bakura. Ryou then sat down, and began writing. Bakura soon regretted his offer, after entering the kitchen; he almost fainted. There were hundreds of jars everywhere, some holding vegetables, and others holding things that were certainly not vegetables. There was a whole stack of things next to it, which were awaiting "pickling". He got to work, pouring acid green, pungent liquid into a jar, and then fit a shrunken head into it from the pile on the counter. After about 15 minutes, Ryou called Bakura into the dining room. When Bakura entered, he too, was carrying a jar, but this one had a dog's mucus membrane in it.  
"Here's your plan, simple, but effective." Ryou got up, and relieved Bakura of everything, and reentered the kitchen. Bakura sat down to read what Ryou had written. "Create a diversion somewhere close to the home, that will lure all occupants out of it, and enter, and pop the lock on the safe." God, he thought. Why didn't I think of that? It didn't faze him, though. He already had an idea for the diversion.  
"Ryou, would you do me a favor and put on a strip show at the 7-11 please?"  
  
Of course, Bakura was kidding. His diversion would be exploding the 7- 11. Big things that make big noise attract everyone from all over. So, that's what he did. He planted a bomb in the toilet of the women's room, entering with three women in it, and none of them said anything. He went into the large stall, and planted the device behind the toilet, and, leaving the stall. Locked the door from the outside (God knows how he managed that), and put up a sign that said "out of order, unless your name is Pharaoh Yami." He would have a lot of fun, today at three o'clock. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* Well, he's going to blow up the 7-11. That should turn out interesting. I know this chappie screams "shortness", but I'm writing the next one right after I post this one, so it'll be here soon. PLX R&R! Tankies! 


	5. Whazzin 'Dere?

Disclaimer: You are all intelligent people, right?  
Well, everything's been kinda laid out for this chapter, but well, yeah. Saturn Imp wanted to know why I stuck Sponge bob in the fic, and to tell you the truth, I only thought about it because my sister was watching it at the time. Well, there you have it. No, he won't be making an appearance in the rest of the fic, because Squidward is afraid to death of Bakura, men with white hair, and leather, and Sponge bob doesn't want to get pulverized, so I can safely discount those two. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
Bakura went home, where the satellite detonator was, and put it in his pocket. He wasn't wearing the leather, so he was blessed with the storage capacity of the denim pockets. He was also wearing one of his favorite shirts that said, "Guns don't kill people, I kill people." On the front of the shirt. It was black, and the writing was white, with dark red splatter all over them.  
Bakura left the house, getting ready to pull the stunt. He had decided to walk to Jou's house, and tell them there was a free slurpie there, waiting for them. Of course, Yami was going to see right through this, so he would also say there was a sale on DM/MW cards. That would hook him. He got there, holding a ton of wrappers for DM/MW cards, and an empty slurpie container he got when he last went there. Of course, there would be no one knowing about it, as he had knocked out the guy behind the counter after saying he would get three dollars off anything because that day was "Girls Save" day. He walked up to the door, and knocked. Jou answered the door, as expected. "Hey, Bakura! Wazzup? He was holding a half full can of bud light. God, Bakura thought. It didn't take much to get him drunk. "They're giving away free slurpies at the 7-11! See?" He held up the empty container. Yami came to the door, with Shizuka, inquiring as to who it was. Yugi had a pair of women's underwear on his spiked head. He quickly realized what Bakura was staring at, and discarded it.  
"What'd you want, Bakura?" asked Yami.  
"He came to say there were free slurpies at 7-11!"Yelled Jou enthusiastically. Yami was not impressed.  
"Really. That's all you have to say? You walked all the way here to tell us that?"  
"There's also a sale on DM/MW cards there." He held up the empty wrappers.  
"Thought you ought to know." Bakura smiled sweetly, and Yami seemed to fall for it. He put on a coat, and grabbed Shizuka's hand, which really pissed off Bakura, but he let the three pass. Jou locked the door, and Bakura made a mental note of the way the key was turned. He told them he was going to go get Ryou, and that he would meet them there, so they could spruce up their deck and duel. He set off the other way, and after the three turned the corner, he pushed the trigger. He heard a huge explosion, and heard cries from Jou, Shizuka, and Yami, as they grew faint. He knew they were there, so he didn't waste any time. He ran back to Jounouchi's house and pulled out a really expensive Swiss army knife out of his pocket. He had sneaked it from a store, wrapping it in foil so it didn't spring the alarm. It was worth over 200 dollars. He pulled out the knife, and shimmied the lock, and it easily popped open. He stepped inside the house, and noticed the discarded underwear on the floor. He stepped over it, thinking how perverted Yami was. He walked over to the coffee table, and pulled up the hanging tablecloth, and saw the safe there. He began working on the three locks. They were the kind where there's three numbers that you have to put in on a wheel. Silence is key, breaking into them. You can hear a tiny click when you hit the right number. He got the first lock open, then the second, and the third followed. He opened it, burning with excitement.  
"Damn. I knew Yami was a perv, but I never thought he would go this far." Bakura thought to himself as he stared at the contents of the safe. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* Well, CLIIF!! I love these things, but you all know I update often. I wrote Bakura's Secret all within the time frame of three days. The next chapter will be up soon, but I just might wait until I get at least five reviews on this chapter.. MWAHAHAHA! GO INSANENESS!! 


	6. Kitty!

Disclaimer: That's like asking someone if they owned the Empire State Building. Well, I left a cliff! I love cliffs. Anywayz, here's the next chapter, but certainly not the last one. Like it or not, this story's far from done. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
Bakura stared in awe at the contents of the safe. There were MANY things in there. Women's clothes, dresses and the like, bras, underwear, matching the set that was on Yami's head, purses, everything. All women's things. "Shizuka's, aren't they, you perv." Bakura thought. Then he got a super idea. He would catch Yami in the act! That was it. The ultimate humiliation scene. Walking in on him, suddenly exposing his secret life with Shizuka, the look on his face would be priceless. Bakura was pondering this with a look of utter content on his face. Suddenly, he heard voices coming up the driveway. He was in deep shit, now. He slammed the safe shut, spun all the locks with a swift hand motion, and ran for his life. He couldn't leave the house, so he ran into the kitchen. He noticed a door, probably leading to the basement. He was right, taking the stairs in it three at a time, before coming to a washer and dryer, both abnormally large for home appliances. He heard voices in the kitchen, so he opened the door to the dryer, and hopped in.  
"Hey, I think I left the door unlocked, check for anything you think might've been stolen." Bakura could hear Jou's voice over the crowd of people that stormed in, or at least, that's what he heard. He was in the dryer, which, incase you haven't been in a dryer before, is really painful, because of the "shelves" that circle the inside. (A/N It's true, I used to hide in the one we had while playing Hide and seek. It does hurt.) Bakura tried to fit comfortably in it, but it's like trying to find a comfortable position on a cactus. It helped that it was a commercial sized dryer, giving more room. He was shuffling around, when he heard Yami's voice from upstairs.  
"Hey, I think I hear something in the basement. Jou, go check it out." He heard footsteps going down the stairs, and once at the bottom, Jou hit the switch on the light, and it flickered before dying.  
"Damn, now I need to replace that bulb." He whispered to himself. He stuck out his hands, feeling over to the washer and dryer, navigating in the little light he got from the grimy little window on the other side of the huge room. He made it to the washer/dryer, the only things in the room, unless you count the pool table in the corner, which was almost impossible to hide under, because the window let in light directly above it. Jou opened the washer, and felt around inside it. He apparently didn't find what he needed there, because he closed it, and went for the dryer. He fully opened the door wider than the crack Bakura left it at, and stuck his hand in it. Because of the fetal position Bakura was in, the first thing Jou came in contact with was Bakura's hair. He was feeling around, all over his head, and soon began to pet the hair.  
"It's the cat! She's in the dryer! She won't come out." Said Jou, yelling upstairs to Yami. He kept petting Bakura's hair, which made him real irritable. He made hissing noises, and that prompted Jou to take his hand out of the dryer.  
"Mean little kitty, are we? Well, you stay there as long as you want." Jou said, making his voice as though he was talking to a baby. He left the door open, and went back upstairs. Bakura was pissed yet again. Jou was feeling his hair! Now he really needed a shower. He was glad, though, he had passed for the family cat, and not one who was trying to break into a certain secret safe..  
Somehow, Bakura managed to fall asleep in the dryer, and woke with a start as the real cat jumped into the dryer, and hissed, finding her usual spot taken up. He pushed the cat out of the dryer, and exited himself. God, he was stiff, cramped up in there like that. He wagered it was about midnight, as there was no light in the room, not even the window-displayed light. It was cool in the basement, and he decided to leave the house, not wanting further unwanted contact from Jou. He opened the little window at the end of the room, and using the pool table, was able to squeeze out. He looked around. There was a starry sky, no clouds that night. He walked over the dew-laden grass, and onto the sidewalk.  
"Damn! My hair doesn't feel like a filthy cat!" he thought, enraged at Jounouchi for mistaking him. He was walking home, infuriated, and pondering the info he had received that day. He jumped a little when he heard a voice from behind.  
"I've been expecting you, Bakura. Hand over the ring, and you might live." *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* WOW another cliff! I'm getting good at these. Well, I posted this one pretty fast, so your dying suspense will not last long, oh weary child. Soon, I will lay thine hand upon thine keyboard, to expel such sweet word, thy purpose being, the satisfaction of thee, and to let thine name spreadeth over wide hills, and fruit-laden trees, and to all yee fine people, who come thus to read thine stories. (I just finished a self study course on Shakespeare! Good, ne? ^^;;) I'm going to need it for next year's English classes. 


	7. Da Plan

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing! Except of course, my stereo, my piano, my TV, my Nintendo.. Well, like it? All your guesses were wrong on who was behind Bakura. It was not Yami or Mouse, and it was definitely not Shadi. Well, I got five reviews, so I'm posting this. Who was it? Find out NOW!! *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
Bakura turned around to see who had spoken to him. He saw nothing. He continued walking, passing it off as a hallucination. He heard it again.  
"Give it to me NOW." He turned again, and swore he saw something moving behind a house. This time, he decided to go and see who was there. He went around to the back of the house, through a gate, and as soon as he stepped in, something grabbed him from behind, a surprisingly weak grip. He spun out of the grasp, and tackled the person onto the ground, and demanded to know who it was, as the person was wrapped in the black cape he was wearing. The dude wiggled a little bit, and a head poked out. A head with silvery white hair.  
"I totally scared you!" Ryou was laughing really REALLY hard at the look on Bakura's face.  
"I was waiting for you all night. Where the hell were you?" Ryou now had tears in his eyes, he was laughing so hard.  
"I was in Katsuya's damn dryer! That's where I was. I got a real story to tell you, but not before I beat the stuffing out of you." But Ryou knew Bakura was joking, picking up the laughter in his voice. Bakura grabbed Ryou by the hood on his cape, and dragged the teary boy home.  
  
Bakura went through the whole story, from top to bottom. Ryou informed Bakura that no one died from the blast, but someone lost a finger, and Mouse lost his slurpie machine, and began crying. After the two finished filling in the other on the day's events, Ryou went up to bed, and Bakura took a shower. He could have sworn he could still smell Jou on his hair. He went to sleep, thinking of how he wanted to catch Yami in the act.  
  
"Hey, Bakura! Wake up! Someone's at the door for you! I think it's Malik! -" He heard Mouse cut off Ryou, and yell at him, telling him to call him Mouse. Bakura groaned a little, then dressed in his good leather outfit, and brushed his hair, which smelled strongly of raspberry, because he washed and rinsed his hair until the shampoo was gone. He went downstairs, to see Ryou arguing with Mouse over his controversial name. He broke the two up.  
"What'd you doing here? This early?"  
"What the hell do you mean early? It's already 1:00! I stopped by to see if you could help me with something. Maybe at my house, we could talk?" Bakura didn't even want to consider going back to that oven.  
"We can talk in the basement. It's cool down there." They went into the basement to talk, and Ryou went to making lunch.  
  
The basement was, unlike Jou's basement, well furnished and well lit. There was a fireplace, but the only thing in it was ash, and a half burnt log. They sat down, Bakura sitting on a couch, swinging, and crossing his legs on the coffee table in front of it. Mouse sat on a wicker chair close to the couch.  
"Well, I've got evidence to believe Yami's-" Mouse started.  
"With Shizuka, is that what you were going to say?" Ended Bakura, a slight smile on his face. Mouse had a look of total surprise on his face. Bakura guessed he was right, and indeed, he was.  
"Yeah, how did you know? It doesn't matter, really, just I need your help proving it." Mouse just wanted to embarrass Yami, as did Bakura, so they began working something out.  
About thirty minutes later, Ryou told them lunch was ready. They went upstairs, to a really good smelling kitchen, and began to tell Ryou what they had planned.  
"We know Yami's there almost every night, as the light is on in Shizuka's room until about 11:00, and Mouse here always sees a head of spikes as a silouhette through the yellow curtains in the window. What we could do, is find a way to get Jounouchi out of the house one night, and sneak in, open the door, and have camera ready." Bakura explained the whole thing with a smug smile on his face.  
"All this sounds great, Bakura, it's just, well, how are you getting Jou out of his own house at 11:00 at night?" Ryou asked, with a smile that said, "I've foiled your plan."  
"Easy. We are going to let out his cat, and wait for it to run, and Jou will go after it, no matter how late it is. He loves that goddamn cat. I've got the knowledge that that cat is always in the dryer, which is in the basement, so I'll go in there at about 10:00, and let the cat loose." Bakura said in a voice that said, "You have to try harder, Ryou. I'm not dumb."  
"You haven't heard the best part, though. Were doing it tonight." Said Mouse, in an evil voice filled with anticipation. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* So, what do you think? I absolutely love this. They're going to catch Yami in the act! How do you think this is going to go? PLZ R&R and tell me what you think!! 


	8. Damn cat and piccys

Disclaimer: Not like anyone reads these. Well, the plan is in action. Will it work? *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
Bakura jiggled the lock on the window in the basement. He finally got it to pop. He made sure no one was in there before slipping in, and landing somewhat ungracefully on the cold, concrete floor. He walked over to the washer, dryer unit, and looked inside. There was that damn cat, just as planned. He wnet to pick her up, but she hissed, and hopped out on her own. Bakura had a thing with cats, and could make them do whatever he wanted. (He might not be able to, but he can now. ^^) he picked up the cat, and set it out the window.  
"Find the bay." Said Bakura to the cat. The cat shot off, like a silver streak in the night. He knew she would just sit on the shore, not being able to enter the water, so she wouldn't be in any danger.  
"After climbing out of the window, he went up to the front door, and knocked. The door had been recently replaced after he had knocked it over. Jou answered the door.  
"Damn, Bakura! It's almost 10:30! What are you doing here this late?" Jou was a little pissed, and really hoped Bakura had a good reason for being there.  
"It's your cat! I saw her run that way! She hopped out of the basement window, you left it open. You need to go find her!" Yelled Bakura, as if he were really afraid for the cat's life.  
"Fine. I'll come with you." Said Jou, grabbing his coat.  
"No, I've got a lot of work to do, and Ryou has something planned, I can't help. You need to go!" Jou waved at Bakura as he ran down the street, calling the cat's name.  
"Bakura looked over at a bush, waving at it. The bush moved, and Mouse  
exited.  
"Let's go now." Said Mouse, holding the camera. They entered the house  
easily,as , in his haste, Jou neglected to lock the door. They heard  
voices from upstairs,  
Shizuka's and Yami's. They crept up the stairs, and heard laughter.  
Shizuka's laughter.  
Bakura started getting sick images in his mind, but shook them off.  
Maouse readind the  
Camera, and they got ready to open the door. That was the moment. They  
would finally expose Shizuka's and Yami's secret life. He couldn't wait, but he couldn't open the door, either. He started shaking, thinking about both the good, and bad. He knew he had to do it, so he threw open the door, and Mouse snapped a picture. Bakura just stood there, staring at the sight before him.  
"God Yami, I never thought you would go that low." *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* Well, CLIFF! I know this chapter's short, but I'm doing a lot of other writing lately. I'll update soon. PLEASE R&R!! 


	9. The dress and the late night fun

Disclaimer: I take the bus to school…  
  
Well, ready for what might happen? Well, maybe not for this one. You'll never guess what Bakura found behind the door, never! MWAHAHAHA!  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Bakura looked in utter amazement at the sight he saw within the room. He had been dead wrong about Yami this whole time. He wasn't with Shizuka, and the clothes were not hers. He was staring at Yami, the drag queen! Shizuka was helping Yami into a white glove, and everything. That's what it was! He thought just now why Shizuka was even involved at all. She was HELPING Yami with the drag act! Bakura had to admit, though, Yami looked like one hell of a girl. He was dressed in a Chinese style outfit with a black and white color scheme, and he had let his hair down, so it wasn't spiked, so it was shoulder length. It looked like he had pink hair, and he had dyed the bottom inch of the hair black, and blond bangs. The black and pink was tied in a tight ponytail, the black edges a little frayed. He was wearing white gloves that extended past the elbow, and black boots, with about three inches worth of heel. The makeup work was extraordinary, which, Bakura thought, was Shizuka's doing.  
  
Yami looked at who busted open the door, and saw Mouse and Bakura standing there, in awe at what they saw.   
  
"Well, now you know. What do you think?" He asked, looking at the mortified duo standing at the door. Bakura gaped at him. If he hadn't known this person was a guy, he would have probably asked her out.  
  
"Wow." Bakura and Mouse said simultaneously.   
  
"You boys want to try?" asked Shizuka, a glint of hope in her eyes. Bakura thought a moment, then looked at Mouse, who was practically screaming yes, so he looked at Shizuka, and shrugged.  
  
"Awesome!" She pulled the two in, and looked at the labels on the cloths they were wearing. After she had finished looking through her closet, she had two outfits with her, one Bakura's size, and one Mouse's size. She handed an outfit to Mouse, consisting of a very nice, cream pearly colored, sleeveless silk dress that went down to the knees, with a see- through overcoat that went down to the mid stomach, and white stilettos. It came also with a pair of pantyhose, and a size B bra.  
  
"What's the bra for? I don't have boobs!" Yelled Mouse, at the article of clothing at the top of the pile in his arms.  
  
"You need to stuff. There's cotton balls and tissue in the bathroom. Yami had to do that, too." She pointed to Yami, who did sport a good-sized pair of hooters. Mouse made his way to the bathroom to get dressed. Next she handed Bakura his outfit. She knew how much he liked black, so she had picked out a contour-fitting black dress that went down to his ankles. It had long sleeves, which clung to the arms. It had red trim around the neckline, the ends of the sleeves, and the bottom of the dress. It came with a hanging, red, beaded belt, but because Bakura didn't have a women's hips, it would fall off. They had to settle with a satin scarf, tied loosely around the waist. Because the dress was form fitting, they had to do something to give Bakura women's curves. The answer, a corset.   
  
"I'm not wearing that! I've seen all those movies with the women in it who couldn't breathe!" Yelled Bakura after finding out what it was.   
  
"Either that, or you don't fit in my only black dress!" Yelled Shizuka, the only other who had dared to yell at him in a long time. Bakura finally gave in, and let Shizuka put it on. His hair kept getting in the way. When she was done, Bakura could hardly breathe, but he didn't want anyone to know he was in pain. He left for the spare bedroom to dress. Malik came back, and he just looked like a man in a dress. Shizuka, though, could fix that. She had him sit down in her chair, the one in front of her desk.  
  
"First, we have to do something with your hair. It's a major giveaway." Said Shizuka, looking at Mouse's reflection in the mirror. She had an idea. She tried bunching up the hair to make it into a ponytail, but all of it didn't fit. She grabbed a spray bottle, and began squirting water on his hair, until it was soaked. Then she used a comb, to comb all of it back into a bun. The other loose hairs were not even noticeable. The front was left alone, so it looked like normal bangs. She misted the hair with hairspray, so it wouldn't fall out of the neat, tight pull it was in. Then, she began on the makeup.  
  
"I want nothing more than eye shadow." Said Mouse, never liking makeup much.  
  
"Nonsense. Trust me, you'll like the results." And, indeed he did. Blush, an eyeliner, and an eyelash curler worked miracles on the teen.  
  
Then Bakura was dressed, and he looked enough like a girl, all he had to do, was put on a little more black eye liner. Now they all looked like women, ready to go to a special party  
  
"That's not all we had planned, you know. We're also going somewhere where being women gives you an advantage over everyone else-" Shizuka was cut off.  
  
"I refuse to go out in public like this!" Yelled Bakura, looking at himself in a fill body mirror.  
  
"Trust me, you'll have the best time of your life." Said Yami, a hint of evil laughter in his voice.  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Well, I have absolutely no idea where this story will go. If you have any ideas, please tell me. PLX R&R!!! There will probably only be one chapter after this, but there might not. 


	10. Authors note

I apologize for the bad writing on the last chapter, and I'll fix it soon. Thank you to all those who have wormed through this, and please bear with me. I seriously have no idea what to do with this story, so tell me what should happen. I'll only continue if I see something I like from the reviewers. Thanks, and later. Please read Clash of Tales, my new fic. 


	11. The Rave

Disclaimer: Uh, uh, uh, *blushing in embarrassment*  
Okies, so everyone's going somewhere, but who knows where the hell that is. Also, BIG surprise in this chapter. WARNING: there is a mention of sex in this chapter, but it is not graphic. Promise. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
"Damn, I never thought I could actually pass as a girl." Mouse was staring in awe at his reflection, poking his fake boobs  
"C'mon, we gotta go now! Our rides' outside already!" Yelled Shizuka, after she too had gotten all dressed up, stumbling a little in the stilettos. Mouse followed. They had spent a whole hour showing him how to walk in his own stilettos, seeing as he had never done it before, and kept falling. But when that was done, he could pass as a woman any day.  
"They all went to the front door, and someone knocked right before they had the chance to open the door. Shizuka pulled it open, and the three transvestites almost fainted at what they saw. Standing, in the door, was a female they knew all too well. Well, it wasn't a female, but it was supposed to be. Standing at the door, was Miss. Seto Kaiba. He, by far, did the best job with his act, but the fact that he would even do it was highly disturbing. Then came to mind the fact he was single handedly raising a nine-year-old boy..  
"Good evening, Miss. Koyoko." Said Shizuka smoothly.  
"Who the hell is Koyoko? This person is Seto Kaiba, the richest man in Japan!" Yelled Bakura, who was staring daggers at the man before him.  
"Well, you all need new, female names, and that's the one he picked. Yami is Toshiko Hemasuki, and you both need one. Pick one on the ride to where we are going. Were scaring the men tonight! Were going to a rave!"  
"Wait a sec, does Jounouchi know you're going to a rave? He'd never let you." Said Yami with a little concern.  
"Jou thinks I'm staying the night at a friend's house, and that I'm telling her the story of you and him at Duelist Kingdom. He had no problem with that." Said Shizuka with a wide grin.  
Everyone marched out to the Kaiba family limo, well ONE of the Kaiba family limos. This one was different, because the license plate said, "DragQeen" on it. Upon entering, the driver started driving away, to the rave. They stopped at a really dingy looking place, and the man in front said they were allowed in. Inside, though, there was a DJ, pounding out music so loud, you needed to yell to talk to the person next to you. There was a bar, dozens of tables, and a dance floor.  
"Alright, the reason were here, is to cut down on the number of male predators. You know, the ones that drag women into those rooms," Shizuka pointed along one wall that had doors lining it, "and, well, you know. That's why you boys are here. You get dragged away, the dudes realize that you are men, and promptly end their careers as, well, you know. Works like a charm. Mind you, you're getting paid."  
"What the fuck do I need money for?" Yelled Seto over the noise.  
"You just gotta help, that's all." Yelled Shizuka back. Me, I'll be at the dance floor, you go sit at the back tables." Yelled Shizuka, pointing at the back tables, near the rooms. Bakura had a feeling, as long as he had booze, and he got to kick someone's ass, he'd be quite happy. They all sat at separate tables. About half an hour later, something finally happened.  
"Oww, shit, you damn broad!!" Yelled a man from behind Bakura, who was bleeding. Yami, Seto and Mouse looked at Bakura, who had blood all over his mouth, and was smiling.  
"He tried to cover my mouth, so I bit him." Yelled Bakura to the others, and they nodded, and went back to the tequilas they had gotten earlier. Bakura stood up, and looked at the man who was still covered in blood.  
"What were you trying to do, you bastard?" Yelled Bakura, with a sense of calm in his voice. He started slowly walking to the man, who hadn't yet realized that Bakura wasn't a woman. He went after Bakura, who kneed him where a man should never be kneed, and he fell to the floor.  
"I hope you know now I'm not a woman, I'm doing this to get rid of assholes like you." Yelled Bakura, who went over to him, and kicked him in the stomach again. The other three watched, but when Bakura was done, they again went back to their drinks, like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Bakura went and sat back down.  
At the end of the night, Bakura had succeeded in kicking about twenty men's asses, and the other's had a total of about thirty. Bakura was happier than he had been in years; he had never gotten to beat up so many people in one night.  
It was three in the morning, and Seto had passed out about halfway through the ride, Yami fell asleep, and Shizuka was threatening to nod off. Only Mouse and Bakura were alert.  
"Man, I had a real great time tonight, didn't you, Bakura?" Asked Mouse. Bakura nodded slightly.  
"You know, Mouse, we should do this more often." Said Bakura, before gurgling a little, and passing out as well. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* I know, the ending is crap, and there were some themes in it I don't like writing about, but I had no ideas, so I just cranked out this piece of crap. Welcome to the ending of Yami's Secret, hoped you liked it. 


End file.
